It is natural for all of us people to grieve whenever someone we love passed away. It is not that easy to accept when we lose someone specifically when that someone has been a part of our life, parents for one. Grieving can be in the form of being upset and distressed. In your part, it made your life miserable. Losing both of your parents in two years time badly affected you. It shattered your world. This was maybe because you depended on them so much at trying times of married life.
You lose your parents while in the midst of your fourth child conception. Women are known to suffer pre-natal and postpartum depression so people around you assumed this is the reason why sometimes you acted weird.
Looking back, you were raised by your parents as God-fearing individual as well as your siblings. The whole family regularly went to church together and was very active on church activities, in fact, your father was once a lay minister in your church as well as your mother who was a catechist. You and your siblings were very much active in all church-based activities in fact, your parents send you to a catholic school which happened to be the most expensive school in town, from kindergarten to college.
Things changed when you and your siblings went to have a family of your own. You bore three healthy and beautiful children. You had a happy family and somehow contented and fulfilled until that fateful day, the passing away of your parents two years after the other. It was so sudden that all of you, particularly you, caught defenseless and unprotected.
You met this phase of life with pain and bitterness. You cannot cope up with the changes and felt meaninglessness which caused you a state of mind a hair-strand to insanity.
Everyone in the family was alarmed. But due to financial inadequacies, supposed regular checkup and medications were not met which made your situation worst.
Until one day, a terrible and a nightmare happened. You slaughtered all your offspring thinking it was the best for them. You thought it was the best decision you can gave to them in the midst of trials. You thought you had save them from future dangers and troubles.
Up to this moment, you are firm to your judgment that what you had done to your children was the best and you don’t have any remorse for doing so….
God bless you for circumstances has taken off your sanity…