I am writing this letter for you to read on your 50th birthday and that would be fifteen years from now. I hope that you will be still alive but I am going to write this anyway for before that time comes, I am sure I am gone.
I am writing this to ask if you had lived the life the way you wanted. I will be asking you if you found happiness in all your undertakings. I will also be asking you if you had settled down with the person you were always chasing. I will ask you if you had fathered your child until she is old enough to let her live all by herself. I will also ask you if you still attempt to leave, and dumped your family like garbage in exchange of your greediness of flesh.
I hope that, when that point of time comes, you realized what your goal is. That when that time comes, you are settled and live the life you always wanted. At that point of time, I hope you had stopped starting-all-over- again-and-again because you had found your lifetime partner and stays with that person until your last breath.
When that phase of your life comes, I hope that you start asking yourself: how did I consume the life given to me? Was I fair enough to everyone in passing through this journey? If you found there was a phase in your yesteryear life that you inflicted pain and sufferings to the people you were supposed to care and love, have you admitted your mistakes?
When that time comes, admit all your mistakes you had done that almost wrecked your once dreamed family. Admit that you spend your time and money to the person you believe who loved you. Admit also that you had attempted to leave, abandoned, dumped and treated, not once but for so many times, your family as garbage every time you were with people who used and fooled you. Think also how many times did you do that to your loving family. Your family who wished you nothing but good health, good life and to live with you around gratifyingly.
I also hope that you forgive yourself during those times when your child was growing up and had seen and felt your infidelity. Forgive yourself that you had been the cause of your child’s suicidal attempt because of hopelessness. Forgive yourself for your child’s accident which almost cost her life due to your abandonment and offensive words you gave to her mother. I hope that you forgive yourself for the many times of attempting in leaving your family in exchange of your greediness and lust. Forgive yourself for uttering offensive words to your wife when you cannot control temptations around you and accused her instead of being selfish. Forgive yourself for wanting the freedom you wrongfully asked for. Forgive yourself for declaring lies, hard lies when you’re at your infidelity status. Forgive yourself for spending the money to the person who used you for her own good and satisfaction instead of spending it in your family.
Finally, forgive yourself for all the people especially your family you disappointed. Maybe they had high expectations from you but it was you, the real you when no one is around to tempt you. Self-discipline and self-control is your main and great weakness. Your lack of control and discipline to lust and greediness is the main reason for all your mistakes.
For now, it’s 2013 yet and I hope what you set out for this year will be effective and you will now be cautious. Your wife, your child, your family has moved on from the anxiety, distress, trouble and confusion you caused them. I hope you had moved on from this in all aspects too– physical – eating well, sleeping well, stopped drinking, do more exercise, observe personal hygiene at all times, respecting your body. Emotionally, only engage with people who support and love you and not use you for their personal end. Be with your family and NOBODY else. On mental aspect, control and discipline your thoughts for actions is a result of how your brain works. Lastly, on spiritual aspect, pray hard and believe how belief works, every day and every moment when you can. Surrender all to HIM…
Furthermore, if you are still breathing beyond 2028, I hope that you take a step back and figure out if your thoughts are happy or sad. And I suggest you write down how you feel about this writing…