Wondering where you are going after all what you have done? You have done it not once but thrice. And all that, you always did not bother to weigh your being head of a family. You always did it thinking only yourself. You always set aside people who needed you. That there are people who depended on you. You always set aside all your responsibilities on your family. You are out of your mind every time you fall out with another woman. You didn’t even take a second to think what you are up to. Every time you are in this situation, you seem to be insane. Nothing left in your head except on how you and your newly found woman will live happily ever after. Is this the life you were dreaming of as a person? Is this the kind of life school of thought has taught you? Is this the kind of life your parents has told you so? Is this the kind of life that really makes you happy? Above all, is this the kind of life you can later on say to yourself that you are contented? Satisfied? Is this the life you really want to have? Is this the life you will offer to the people who loved you unconditionally? Is it your conviction?
What is confusing with you is that once you admire a woman, you always had the desire to live with her for the rest of your life disregarding the naked truth that you are already a married man and have souls dependent on you, your children, wife and immediate family which therefore should positioned you in a situation to combat whatever desire or intention you have on opposite sex. To add to that, you don’t even consider what kind of a person that woman is. On how did she have the stomach to get into a relationship with you with his live-in partner around and a son from another man who’s waiting for her to come home after her work? As an account, you don’t do any attempt to resist instead you offer yourself to opposite sex which sad enough to say, that doesn’t have any concerned whatsoever o whomsoever they may afflict pain and sufferings, a result of their being selfish, greed and lust. I thought of this since no woman or man in his right mind to at least attempt to wreck a happy family unless they are psychotic. You are not in your teens whose feelings can be categorized as neither love-at-first-sight nor a crush. Admire? Maybe but not to the extent that you will be obsessed to have her at any cost. I don’t categorically understand why you are always acting that way. And I refused to understand.
As far as I can remember, I was talking to you trying to clear your hazy and stupefied mind. Trying all my best to help and made you understand what would be the effect and how would your child be affected on your getting involved on this shit-kind of relation. But you never listened to me. You never give me the chance. You never lift a finger to try to recognize and figure out what my intention was. You only thought of yourself, just YOURSELF that time. You were so ridiculous and stupid. And I was too for I was hoping against hope that before you shut the door, you’ll realized how far you had damaged and messed up your family and YOURSELF. All my effort proved worthless when you shooed your family away, literally. No words can ever define the feeling you had inflicted on us. It has a chilling effect. Which brought your child to be handled by a psychiatrist to help her mind put in order. She was displaced she don’t want to live anymore and much more, she wanted to end her life by not eating and not talking to anyone. It was the hardest moment I ever had in my life. Half of me then died. It was all because of you. It was all due to your actuations which no one understands. No one will and every one refused to understand why you had done that. It was greediness, selfishness and lustiness that wrapped your whole being!
As of now, I don’t want to think of the reason why you opted to drop down your mistress. It was not worth remembering it. She’s not worth our acknowledgment for the sudden change of your mind,too. You are also not worth acknowledging because you knew; you always know the reason why. You knew very well why and your conscience can only answer that.
I am now wondering as to how will this condition be working and until when will it last? Can it survive? Will it be until then? Then goodbye? And then hello again?