Impulsiveness: How Far Did You Get Me?

I am person full of dreams. Optimism is very typical of me.I do not accept no for an answer. Most of my life, I strive hard to achieve whatever I had in mind. I usually don’t consider if things I was pursuing was right. Once an idea or a thing calls or rings up my mind, without thinking twice, I go for it no matter what.

But this optimism with in me almost always brings me disappointment and frustrations. I had observed this when I was in my early teens. I had this sudden impulse that no one can hold me off. No one as in no one. My family labelled me this as a negative trait that they almost cursed me. They had always warned me of this character. Even myself has a feeling that this is a negative characteristic but then I can’t help it. Besides, I didn’t know of no one hurt with this kind of attitude.

Not until when I married and started to have my own family. I had one child, an only child cause our family doctor has not allowed my wife to conceive another one due to health reasons which may cause her death. For the first three years of my marriage, I thought I had a perfect life. I was happy with my wife and my only child whom whose rearing was handled and managed by me primarily cause I was laid off from my work.

But after sometime I got hired. It was at this point when I got in touched with my ex-girlfriend who shooed me away because she married another man.We had no formal break up then. The first time I saw her after four years, there was a mixed feeling which I boiled down that I still wanted her. So when I received my first salary I dated her and there, a plan was arranged that we eloped leaving her husband and bringing her child with us and me leaving my wife and my only child. But was aborted because my wife has learned about the plan before the execution.

She willingly gave me up and almost at the same time, my only child has got a high fever which almost got her to a hospital. It was at this moment that I seemed to be awaken from a deep sleep. I thought I was insane to do such a thing and I regret having that evil plan in the midst of my happy married life.

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